i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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