yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
