Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
