She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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