Have you finally orgasmed yet?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
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His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
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That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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