remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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