The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm too high and old for this...
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
