we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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