Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
