if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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