a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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