Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
