Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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