ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
