So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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