I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
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If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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