would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
