i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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