My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
