At least make sure they are 18
Why
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I want her autograph on my taint
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
