I think my fart just growled at me.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Boobs are out for the taking
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
