So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i drank out of a bidet.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
