Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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