Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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