remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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