Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
