I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
