i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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