oh god the rape fog is back!
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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