I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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