Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
