She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
