So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
