I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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