he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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