at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
We need to rekindle our bromance
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
