Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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