dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
