Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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