I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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