You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
