i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
