When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
