honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
