Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
