And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
