Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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