there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
