just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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