yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
