Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
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I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
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he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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