I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
