I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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