Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
