tell your sister to shave her snatch
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
