they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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