we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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