everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
